Another things about rock

Hi!
As you know, we must have a topic about rock. Last week we posted stupid things, and we blew your mind. The blog has the following organization: 3 topics about rock, 2 stupids topics, if we calculate the square root, multiplicated with 3:2, divided and drawn in the straight  2y = 5x - 7, calculating the distance from P to P´, we obtain that Lincon is still alive. But you will say: "this is another stupid topic, so the relation is 3 : 3" . Well , that means that Lincoln is not alive and our teory is trash, and we will have a extintential problem.
Well, we will go to the point. No, not face points. The point that calls us.
Today we will talk about about a derived topic of a branch of rock in third grade.
We are talking about hard rock.
Ingredients: one or two guitars (electric guitars), a vocalist that knows about high tones, a cool baterist and a bass.
For example: AC/DC
If you don´t know what is AC/DC, get out of here please. To compose a nice hard rock song, you must take a teaspoon of aggressiveness, mixed with energy, take your guitar for one or two hours, and invent an aggressive riff  for doing mouchs.
Oh yeah, mouch: hits, kicks and broken faces, it´s a master piece.
But well, this is hard rock. It isn´t hard. It isn´t rock. It is Hard Rock.
Yeah, I haven´t many ideas, but I hope you understand what I´m talking about.
Just use a lot of distortion (you must destroy your ears), and cool guitar techniques: solos, sweep picking, pull-off, those things, and don´t cut your strings like Eric did (He cut  my phone, just read the previous post).
Ok, that´s all and wait for another stupid rocker blog :D

The Rocker Crime

Thursday: 01:45
I went to the kitchen and ate a nutritive banana, but something  was wrong. I went to my room and took my electric guitar  and tried to think. OK, something was wrong, someone stole one string of my guitar. D:
How is it Posible!!!!??
I ran to the store, but the store was closed >.<
OK, is stupid that the store was open at  01:47. But i was desesperated.
I went back to my home, and my guitar was dying.
I looked to my guitar and shouted.... WHY???!!!!
Thursday: 02:30
I thought that i needed a profesional. (I am radical)
I called to Victor, I spoke to him of the crime, and he said me that he will found the criminal.
Thursday : 05:40
The time was passing and the criminal was free.
NO notice from victor.
The phone began to sound.
I take the phone ( suspense music):
-Hello?
-Hi
-Who are you?
-I am Victor
-Oh hello victor
-Hello eric, i have news about the criminal, the criminal is called E.....
The phone was broken, in that moment I ran to the victor house.Nothing
I  saw Victor in the floor. He was died.
First my guitar, after Victor, the criminal was very dangerous.
Thursday: 09:30
I called to the police but they did´t believe me.
Thursday: 10:00
I  went to my home, but, someone was follow me.
He was the criminal, but, OH no......!!!!!!
The criminal was Eric!!!
All the time I was the criminal, I couldn´t belive it.
I went to the police, and i took a nuclear bomb and 3, 2, 1....
Hello Jesus.

Fragment of the novel : my grandma sold mercury 5 the revenge.

Maniacs217

Ideas?

hahahahahahahahahahhaa

we´re back.
you thought that we died, but you mistaked.
Why do we delay? After many hours of deep meditation in the himalayas top, with our friend Dalai Lama, we bring to you a big content today.

Today we bring to you......................(drumrolls) (we like drumrolls a lot!!)
We bring to you................................................................................nothing.
Ok, we didnt expect this, we worked hard to reach the monastery with the monks.
In blogger´s life, there is a moment that dont have any ideas, and dissapoint his fans, but it will never happen to us.
Our monkeys are working hard for writting posts.
[hey don´t think that we are abusing of the animals, we are graduated and certified in: "Specialization in abuse of half-clever animals  for mentally ills"] [pretty]
Apparently  they aren´t writting because we stole their bananas.
Oh well, things about rock.
What rocker don´t resist bananas? It is a nutritive and delicious fruit. But, ok, we won´t talk about bananas. Maybe next week. The city progress, my grandma sends mercury and Victor travels to the lost world. All is normal, but late is never for taking a guitar and writing a song. In moments of frozen brains and stupidities, you must take your instrument and write a song, write what are you feeling. When you don´t know what to post, just write a song. I know. Writing a song is hard. You will say: "oh my god, maniacs, how can I write a song?". Our answer is: take a guitar and a pencil, eat a cookie, or eat a banana (we like bananas, it has a pretty colour), look at the stars, and sing, let your hand to move itself. It is effective. Only 99% error. We have a question for you: did you saw google´s guitar? It is great, you could play impressive songs, and record it, this is the law, we should be like google´s guitar. Possible questions:
-What do you have in your head?
*bananas
-What did you smoke?
*bananas
-Why?
*bana....ha!, you though that we will say bananas, but this is the answer. I hope you had fun, and losing time with us. Remember to eat your banana.  n.n
PD:bananas aren´t like peace pipe.
PD2:clean your banana before you eat it.
PD3:write a song about bananas.

THE END

V/S!!!!!

 Strat v/s  Les paul:

Strat is the guitar that all families can obtain, exellent for the stupid novice.     
Les Paul is the guitar for an expert musician.
Les Paul wins!!!!!!!!!

 Les Paul v/s King V
both guitars are cools *-* but we must choose one winner.
Les  Paul is a good guitar.
King V express the fury into yourself. >.<
Les Paul is for big bands.
King V is for YOUR band!!
Les Paul is a good guitar (yes , I said it again)
King V has a V form O.O
King V wins!!!

(and Les Paul lose,  muahahahahaha)

King V v/s Kelly  (brothers  ¬-¬)
OK, analysing.............................99%........Procesing..................................99%
...........................mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................................
99%...............Error # 4123 9817236123.........................................................
ok the result is.............................................................duuuuuhhhhhh................

draw.

 Kelly v/s Zacky Vengeance 6661 (ok, number one ruins the 666)

Kelly is a guitar for playing metal music!!!!!! Zacky Vengeance is for playing all music that you want but specially for playing Core.
Kelly is a Jackson guitar, Z.V.6661 is a shecter guitar. (ok????)
You must be rich if you want to buy these guitars.
(ok no, but in our country are very very very very very very very very expensives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  (these guitar are expensives in your country too, ha ha!!) (there are many "very")O:
Who is the winner????????????
You´ll see it next week..........................................................
OK , I´m just kidding. Z.V. is the winner!!!!!!!

OK, Bye, but you have a homework.
You must see a movie: "Tenacious D, the pick of destiny"
-¿Dont you  know what is Tenacious D?
*Get out from here and go to see it.

-¿Is the movie boring for you?
*damn you !!!n.n


(ok, we insult people a lot) (try to stop us, hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahah )

How to make a ROCK BAND!!!!!

There are two ways to make a rock band:

1º Go to the nearest store and buy the ROCK BAND videogame.
2º Make a REAL band with your friends.

If you chose the first option, you are a retarded (I don´t want to offend you....naahhh)
If you chose the second option, you can follow these advices:

Level 1: you must have a band composed by vocals, a guitar, a bass, drums and guitar (what?, don´t you remember that there are two guitars in a band?)
Level 2: Congratulations, you have a stupid band (but cool, dont forget this). You must find a song that represents you. (Please, don´t choose justin barbie´s songs) (oh yeah, we hate him)
Level 3: Make a setlist!!! (mmmm ok, this level only requires that)
Level 4: Record your demo. We recommend you to make a original song.
Level 5: You must say good bye to your lead guitarrist. (We don´t assure you that the guitarrist won´t hit you)
Level 6: You must look for a new guitarrist.
Level 7: Look for a fan club (your mother doesn´t count like a fan)
Level 8: Live presentations!!!!! This is very important. It will open to you the fame gates (No, this is a lie, but don´t worry) (be happy :P)
Level 9: Record your second song.
Level 10: Find a manager. (Remember, don´t let that men steal your money) (and your X factor)
Level Master: YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, we don´t have many ideas. Bye, and come the next week for more knowledge about rooock!!!!

PD: Don´t eat picks.
You will die.
Really, this is true.
Come on, don´t you trust me?
ok, get out of here.


stupid....


No, wait, come back!!!!!!!! : (

Things about rock!!

Hello, we are Eric and Victor. This is a project for our english clasroom. We will talk about the fantastic world of rock and roll. We are from Chile, the country in the end of the world :D.

Now we bring to you... (drumrolls) the fantastic world of ROCK!!
OK. You need to know some terms about rock, news about rock, and knowledge about rock (oh yeah, I said rock three times :D).
Now, we will talk about some terms of the world of rock:
-The band: ambicious fanatics that play music all time, but when they get famous, they are cool.
-The pick or plectrum: insignificant plastic triangle that we use for playing the strings (It doesn´t look insignificant after all :P)
-Manager: the manager is a man that steal your money after a rock presentation or concert (you must be your own manager, trust me)
-The X factor: it makes big a musician (where the x factor equals the dedication and the practice, multiplicated with the talent dividided with time o_o!)

Knowledge about rock:
- Elvis Presley is still alive (in Argentina)( Now he is giving the hand to Maradona)(You can´t say this is a lie)
- Paul McCartney is dead.
- Dave Mustane is the Hayley Williams´s uncle.
- Bruce Dickinson is a big businessman.
- Ozzy Osbourne ate a bat.
- Gene Simmons has a cow tongue.

That´s all, and come later for more news and stupid content about rooooooooooooooooooock!